


Never Forgotten

by TheMadHale



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Baby Death, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Infant Death, Major character death - Freeform, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-01-31 12:28:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18591289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMadHale/pseuds/TheMadHale
Summary: TRIGGER WARNING FOR BABY DEATH AND INFANT DEATHAfter a year of radio silence, Bucky decides to visit Y/N once he returns back to town





	Never Forgotten

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING FOR BABY DEATH AND INFANT DEATH

Rocking one of your four-month-olds you couldn’t help by wonder, how would life be if there was a second set of hands helping? You had thought hard about telling anyone that you knew from nearly a year ago that you were expecting but once the fight between the team happen half were locked away, the other half well you couldn’t care less what the others were doing.  
Sitting in the rocking chair with little Peggy you thought back to the night before you left their father, how happy you both were, how carefree you were but also how troubled he was. His past was taking a rather large toll on him which in turn put stress on you and it broke you.  
You didn’t regret leaving, it was safer that way for both you and the babies even though Bucky would never intentionally hurt you or the children some of this night terror caused a physical reaction.  
Placing Peggy back in her crib you turn on the soft music of the past and walked out into the living space back to your glass of wine. The tv was off so it was you, the glass of wine and your thoughts of your relationship with Bucky.  
Knocking on the door brought you out of your memories but also forces you to get up. Peeping through the peephole you came eye to face with Bucky through it. Pulling the door open slowly you walked away to grab another glass and the bottle of wine handing both to Bucky who was now standing in the entrance way between the kitchen and the lounge room.  
“Sit, drink wine forget,” you said before walking to close the nursery door.  
About an hour after Bucky had arrived you had received a call, an emergency had just arrived at the hospital and it was all hand on deck to help.  
“I’m sorry Bucky but I need to leave and haven’t got time to call a babysitter,” you said rushed while getting dressed, “Bottles are in the fridge heat them to skin temperature. Diapers are in the draws in the nursery you will find them in the top draw. Jamie will wake soon just hold her she a quiet baby so maybe check that she doesn’t need food or something, Peggy will scream if she needs anything but usually rocking her will help.”  
Sliding your shoes on you were out of the apartment on a rush to the hospital while Bucky just stood there wide-eyed looking at the closed door he guessed was the nursery. Picking up the baby monitor he found on the table he clipped it to his belt before looking for a pen and paper to write a letter to the babies no one was told of.  
Sitting in the rocking chair that was placed in the corner of the nursery he began to write.  
_Dear Jamie and Peggy,_  
_You guys don't know me but don’t feel bad, your mom did the best thing for you both by leaving me. I am a danger to myself so it was best_ off _that you both weren't around me even though I would have liked to have known about you both before turning up here tonight to tell your mom that I will always love her but that I was leaving just in case someone found her. Uncle Steve would love you both as well especially you Peggy because your mom named you after a brave woman I knew, she never let anyone tell her what to do so hopefully your the same._  
_From your father,_  
_Bucky Barnes_  
_Getting up from the ch_ air he went and looked at the two babies, Peggy fast asleep but Jamie was awake just looking at the ceiling. Jamie wasn’t crying or anything she just seemed to be looking at the roof blankly. Leaning over the crib Bucky picked her up and cradled her against his chest as he swayed side to side.  
“Hey JayJay, look at you,” Bucky said smiling at the little face, “You’ve got your mama’s eyes did you know that.”  
Jamie smiled and let out quiet giggles so Bucky spoke again, “How about we sit in the living room and talk. That would be nice.”  
As Bucky walked into the living room he kept rocking little JayJay who just kept smiling at Bucky until the smiling turned to yawns. Bucky let Jamie sleep on him before he decided that he should also write a letter to you. Walking back into the nursery Bucky placed Jamie into her cot before sitting back down in the rocking chair to write.  
_Dear Y/N,_  
_I know I shouldn’t have came here tonight you seem to have quite a life now with Jamie and Peggy but I had to see you. Steve asked about you and I, what were we doing? When the wedding was? I didn’t have the heart to tell him that there wasn’t going to be a wedding or that we broke up._

He never got to finish his letter because first Peggy fussed but she fell back to sleep. Getting up he moved out of the nursery and back into the lounge room to drink some more wine to finish writing the letter.  
He had finished the bottle and still did have the gut to say goodbye so he just wrote.

_I don’t regret falling in love with you. I don’t regret that you didn’t tell me about the twins. I regret nothing that happened between us. I love you and always will my angel._

At work you were panicking, a few of the doctors had turned to dust along with nurses and patients and all you were worried about was Bucky and Peggy hoping both would still be there when you got home. Jumping in your car you drove as fast as you could before running up the stair to your apartment but entering it all you could hear was the screams of Peggy.  
Grabbing Peggy you looked into the other cot for Jamie so you called out, “Buck is Jamie with you?”  
You looked around your whole apartment but all you saw new were two ash piles, One in Jamie’s crib and the other on the lounge room floor next to a letter.  
Picking up the letter you read it before looking at piling of dust and you knew what or who it was. Collecting it in a bag you did the same to Jamie’s.  
Placing the letter down on the table you walked into your nursery placing the bags on the bookshelf letting out, “I regret not telling you sooner Buck because now you’re gone and I regret not loving you enough Jay R.”


End file.
